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How to save a relationship after a betrayal: 5 steps to happiness

You have to work hard, but it's definitely worth it.

Is it possible after a betrayal of a partner to be happy in a relationship with him? Psychologists argue that with proper work to restore confidence, this is entirely feasible. Two points are important in this situation: the sincere desire of both partners and the willingness to work to strengthen relations. We will tell you how to save a relationship after a betrayal, if your desires are still strong.

1. Determine the cause 

There can be many reasons for betraying a partner: from banal boredom to self-doubt. If you have clearly decided that you intend to maintain a relationship, it is important to find out why your lover went on such a betrayal. Understanding this impulse will allow you to avoid repeating the problem in the future.

2. Be prepared for the fact that recovery will take a lot of time 

Even if you understood and forgave everything with your mind, you can hold a grudge for quite some time at heart. The restoration of relations, especially in matters related to trust, can last, as a rule, for a very long time. Both you and your partner need to be prepared for the fact that you will not wake up the next morning, as if nothing had happened. You have a long and difficult path of rehabilitation, during which you will need to take into account the feelings and thoughts of each other. 

3. Give up the roles of “victim / offender” 

Relationships cannot be built on this behavior model. You will eventually have to stop considering yourself a victim of circumstances and demand a corresponding attitude. The partner will have to stop branding himself a villain and a villain and engage in self-flagellation. Choose other roles for yourself and strive for their embodiment. It is not necessary to deny the role of everyone in adultery, it must be accepted, put up with it and move on.

4. Apology / Forgiveness

 Admitting guilt is half the way to saving a shaky relationship. But only if the apologies of the cheater are sincere and he is really interested in maintaining relations. Just like your forgiveness should not be just an empty phrase, but should correspond to your feelings and actions towards your partner. In other words, if you’re not ready to give an affirmative answer to it, don’t be afraid to tell your soul mate that you need time not only to understand, but also to feel that you are ready to move on.

5. Do not use cheating partner, as an argument in a dispute or a tool for blackmail

 If you are not ready to “let go” of the situation, psychologists advise you to temporarily distance yourself from your partner until you are ready to forget everything and start from the beginning. It is important to understand that after the betrayal of one of the partners you do not continue the old relationship, but build new ones. And they should not have room for reproaches or blackmail, the main argument for which will be the infidelity of the partner. Until you are ready for such a big step, you should continue to work to restore confidence.

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